Another one of those “only in the UAE” stories. Well, maybe in Qatar. Or Bahrain. But pretty much only here in the Gulf, where many regular Joes have more cash than common sense.

A Turkish businessman fell afoul of the law in Dubai (perhaps still the world capital of conspicuous consumption) … because he abandoned his submarine on a public beach.

No, really.

See the story here.

Turns out, the UAE is considered a hot market for “mini-submersibles,” and a source in the story says they are particularly popular with self-indulging executives, describing them as “the new helicopters.”

Who knew?

So, the businessman bought the two-man sub, used, for 35,000 dirhams, which is about $9,500. (New ones can cost $3.8 million), and took it on a test dive in the water off the coast of Dubai.

Thirty minutes into the test dive — the sub can go about 50 yards deep — it sprung a leak, and the businessman steered it up on Jumeirah Beach, an exclusive part of town … and left it.

He was fined $2,700 for … something. Turns out, a coherent set of regulations has not been created yet for mini subs and other nautical toys. But the authorities felt lie he had done something wrong here, and impounded the sub, and levied the fine.

And why did he park it — and leave it — on the beach? Because he was tired from trying to drag it out of the water, and planned to come back and get it the next day.

Not making this up. This is how we roll in the Gulf.