Let’s count down from 10, Letterman style.

10. The roses? You wouldn’t believe how cheap they were.

9. To mark the day, how about watching an NHL game together?

8. I would have bought you chocolate, but I know you’re on a diet.

7. Can you believe how much money some people waste on Valentine’s Day?

6. How many of these have we spent together? More than five and fewer than 15, I’m pretty sure.

5. The significance of February 14? Is this some kind of test?

4. But a Hooters gift certificate means you can eat a lot of wings.

3. Just you and me, let’s go see a zombie movie.

2. I knew you would love a pet snake!

And No. 1 on the list of Valentine’s Day verbal blunders.

1. You don’t look nearly as old as people say you are.