I wouldn’t say I held out high hopes for the Seth MacFarlane movie A Million Ways to Die in the West. Written by Seth MacFarlane, produced by Seth MacFarlane, starring Seth MacFarlane and directed by Seth MacFarlane.

Despite one guy holding too many roles, some viewers had hinted that it was Blazing Saddles for a new millennium, and I like crude and/or physical humor as much as the next arrested adolescent, but …

But after seeing “Million Ways” I was left to count the ways that “Blazing Saddles” was better — in nearly every way imaginable.

What is a bit disconcerting is that MacFarlane rounded up a more impressive cast, for his movie than Mel Brooks did for his, back in 1974.

MacFarlane has Charlize Theron, Liam Neeson, Amanda Seyfried, Neil Patrick Harris, and some of them have been nominated for Oscars. Saddles was led by Gene Wilder and Cleavon Little, and I like them well enough, especially Wilder (Young Frankenstein), and the underrated Harvey Korman and Madeleine Kahn. None of whom won an Oscar.

But MacFarlane wastest his stars with wretched dialogue. A person doesn’t expect much of a plot from this sort of thing, but MacFarlane overdelivered here, with nothing much making sense, and not making sense for really long periods of time.

MacFarlane the drector and writer is prone to allow MacFarlane the actor to ramble on at great length when he ought to let Theron or Neeson speak. Or get a camera.

And it’s just not funny. Both this and Saddles are crude, but Saddles was crude with a payoff. Who can forget Kahn as Lili von Shtupp, the “Teutonic Titwillow” (sending up Marlene Dietrich) in singing, I’m Tired … with the lyrics: “I’ve been with thousands of men, again and again, they promise the moon. They’re always coming and going and going and coming — and always too soon.” Korman is often very good as Hedley Lamarr.

That’s crude with a payoff. Million Ways never manages that.

MacFarlane has Neil Patrick Harris, suffering from diarrhea, squatting over two 10-gallon hats. Potty humor, something Mel Brooks skirted (Slim Pickens and the beans scene around the campfire) … but never disappeared into.

Also, MacFarlane seems keen to avoid a “politically correct” script, which is braver than one might think, in 2014, but his forays across the line seem wasted.

Million Ways might possibly be a little better than I know. I am a big fan of Sarah Silverman, but she was left on the cutting room floor, here in the UAE, where the reviewers apparently had no stomach for her role as a prostitute.

Even the Wild West-style theme song in Million Ways is inferior to the Saddles theme song.

The thing about the UAE is … not much here is funny and/or silly. We hoped for a departure from that.

We got a bad, non-funny, overlong Million Ways, instead.