I thought about this. I really did. I even made a bit of an effort.

But it became clear to me within the first few days here that I was never, ever going to know more than a few words of Mandarin Chinese.

Maybe I’m too old to pick up new stuff quickly. But I’m also pretty sure that a pictogram form of writing is a major problem for me, too.

I guess I’m what modern teachers call a “visual learner.” If I see something, I’ll remember it.

But when I see Chinese pictograms … it means nothing to me. Zero.

Any language with Roman letters, I have a shot at picking up more than a few words. Any of the Romance or Germanic languages, that is. Or even African languages rendered in something resembling our alphabet. I see them, might remember them, then see them in my head and say them when I need them.

Can’t do that, in Mandarin. All I see is what seems to me ridiculously complicated drawings.

Thus, I am reduced to memorization. And this is what I picked up on Day 1, and as far as I’ve gotten.

1. “Nihao” … which means “Hello.”

2. “Xiexie” … pronounced (more or less) shay-shay … Which means “thank you.”

That’s it. I’m done. And I’m leaving in five days, so what’s the point, now? I smile a lot, and wave, and do more little polite bows than at any time since Nagano 1998.

But I’m just not going to learn a pictogram-based system of writing, which means I’m not going to learn the words, which means — barring some intense, long system of study — I will never learn Chinese.

If I were 20, and planning a life in overseas investing … that might be a problem. But at 54, with no plans to move to China … I doubt I’m going to need those next 100 words of Chinese I might have liked to know.