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The Unknown Bobblehead

February 15th, 2015 · No Comments · Baseball, Dodgers

Let’s start this with one of those achievement test-y questions.

Which of these four names does not belong?

1. Sandy Koufax

2. Justin Turner

3. Fernando Valenzuela

4. Vin Scully

Too easy!


I can say with some assurance that, until I saw Justin Turner’s name on this press release, I did not know he had any connection with the Dodgers.

My first thought, seeing the name without any additional context, was that Justin Turner was, perhaps, some famous old-timer. Though I am pretty sure I know all of the Dodgers’ standout old-timers, going back to when they were called the Bridegrooms. Maybe he was a club executive sometime over the past century. One of the semi-new ownership group.

Imagine my surprise, then, when I saw he is … a player.

An active player.

Well, sorta active.

Justin Turner is a utility infielder. A guy who plays when one of the starters in your infield is hurt. Who only once has had more than 322 at-bats in his five-and-change years in the major leagues.

I’m going to make some assumptions.

–Justin Turner is a nice guy, and very personable. The Dodgers decided he was something of a fan favorite.

–Justin Turner is local. And he is. Born in Long Beach, went to high school in Lakewood, played at Cal State Fullerton. The Dodgers like local. Don Drysdale was local. Wes Parker was local.

–Justin Turner is someone the Dodgers can show to the community, and the odds are he is not going to embarrass them. You know, failed drug test, domestic abuse, driving under the influence. That sort of thing.

–Maybe someone in marketing was asking, “OK, who should our 10th bobblehead for 2015 be? We’ve done just about everyone …” And someone else, sarcastically, said: “You mean we’re down to, like, Justin Turner?” And the other person, being literal, said, “Yes!” And out went the order for 50,000 likenesses of Justin Turner.

Here is the key question: If Justin Turner’s name is not inscribed on the base of the bobblehead … will anyone know who that is supposed to be? As opposed to Koufax, Scully and Valenzuela?

Some generic red-bearded 30-ish guy. Maybe chosen out of the stands?

The Unknown Bobblehead.

I concede to some ignorance here. I must have seen at least 120 of the Dodgers’ box scores last year (and probably more, because I play fantasy ball) and somehow “Turner 2b” made no impact on me. Though stats tell me he would have been in the box for 109 of 162 games.

And he was not bad. Actually, he was surprisingly good. A .340 batting average with a .404 on-base percentage, 21 doubles, 43 RBI in 322 at-bats.

He was paid $1 million last year, and this year is getting $2.5 million.

But somehow I missed him. In part, because he was never in our stats league. In part, because I am on the other side of the world. But, then, his Twitter handle suggests he is not a big star. It is “redturn2” — as opposed to some more famous “redturn” or “redturn1”?

I’m going to guess Justin Turner is penciled in as the Dodgers’ starter at second base, now that Dee Gordon is gone.

And fans (and maybe the Dodgers) must be hoping he can put up numbers similar to those from 2014 — except over 162 games, up from 109.

I suppose it’s possible that by the time his bobblehead night rolls around, on September 1, he will be the sort of star we associate with a bobblehead. An all-star. With 18 homers and 70 RBI.

I wonder if the Dodgers will feel obliged to play him, on September 1, now that he has a bobblehead night?

Can’t have a guy playing twice a week if he is a bobblehead, can you? He can’t be on the bench for, oh, the third straight night when everyone going through the turnstiles gets his doll?

I hope it works out. I hope his bobblehead eventually is prized, and not just for the pure bobbleheaded-itry of it all.

But, to be safe, let’s make sure JUSTIN TURNER is painted on that statuette somewhere.

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