So, yes, it’s true: Telecoms are a pain in the neck no matter where you turn up.

After six years of various issues with the Etisalat telecom in Abu Dhabi (and, before that a variety of others, in the states), we spent much of our first day in southern France trying to get wifi in the apartment where we are staying.

It required two one-hour roundtrips to get it solved. Sorta.

So, our apartment in Les Issambres … one of about 10 in a complex above town. And everyone else who is living here, in the depths of a French Riviera winter (which is not all that tough) … should be able to pick up the wifi paid by one resident.

No luck. It worked when we were in the man’s apartment, but not when we got back to our own? Why not? Who knows.

Off to the telecom — Orange, it is called — for some solutions.

Our first idea was to use a cell phone as a hotspot in the apartment. We chatted with one of the kids in the typically crowded sales room, explaining our plan, and he sold us a data package for 25 euros for the cell phone and sent us on our way.

However, the data package doesn’t allow the phone to work as a hotspot. Apparently, we were supposed to know that. It was never made clear by the sales-kid.

So, we make the 30-minute drive back to the apartment, and realize we still have no wifi. Which we really cannot live without.

Back to the town down the coast. New people behind the counter.

Again, an explanation about wanting to use a cell phone as a hotspot, and the second Orange employee says it “can’t be done.” (It would have been handy if the first guy had told us that.)

We have to have a subscription, which we do not have. We prefer pay-as-you-go, which works in the UAE — but not in France, which demands more formal relations.

So, the solution?

The telecom woman sold us, for 59 euros, a portable wifi — sometimes known as a “dongle”, a few years back. Which came with 60 hours of wifi time, and that’s it. Good only for web surfing. Can’t download files, can’t stream videos … so it’s an impaired wifi.

Plus, we will blow past that “60 hours” thing in no time and will have to top up with more euros, as we go along.

So, first full day here and already we have telecom trouble.

It is easy to envision we will be spending a lot of money with a telecom that never really makes us happy — same as in the UAE and the USA and maybe anywhere else in the world.