Wherever we go in France, I make a hash of the French language. And it’s not just my comprehension, which is probably about 10 on a scale of 100. It’s my pronunciation, which is about a 0.5.

I might be able to figure out a topic of conversation around me by identifying a handful of nouns, and I understand a bit more if I can see it written.

But when it comes to pronouncing anything, reading it aloud … disastre! I know nearly zero of the rules of pronunciation.

So, today, it was with some satisfaction that I stumbled across a story listing several English words the French cannot pronounce.

To wit:

Hedgehog!

The French cannot pronounce it. It’s the letter H. They don’t aspirate it — I think that’s the correct word. Rather like Cockney speakers in England, who have been dropping H’s for hundreds of years.

Thus, hedgehog comes out of a Frenchman’s mouth as “edge-og”.

As the site notes: “The French don’t have much time for the ‘umble H. They’d rather enjoy ‘appy ‘ours in ‘otel bars without ‘aving to think it.”

They also are not good at the TH blend, as well as the letter R, which they want to roll (“rarely” is a nightmare for them), and the vowel I, in its “short” usage.

For example, the word “thousandth” is a big problem for Francophones. It likely will come out “sows-ence”.

Also, the short I … is often pronounced with an “e” sound. Thus, the women’s name “Liz” comes out “Lease”. You also “heet” a baseball, you “seep” your wine and you “leave” in a house.

The site also notes the potentially embarrassing issues when French speakers attempt to use the word “sheet” or “focus”.

To make clear this cuts both ways, the site also has compiled a list of French words English speakers usually stumble over, and you can see that here.

I almost certainly will never be good enough at the language to worry about how to correctly pronounce the French words for “locksmith” or “frog”.