Great story out of Italy.

FC Crotone, a small club from the deep south of the country, qualified to play in the top-flight Seria A this season — a first for the club from an ancient city in the deep south of the country.

As one might imagine, the local fans of calcio were quite excited, for themselves and their club, of course, but also because it meant all the greatest clubs in Italy would play in Crotone.

Such as serial champion Juventus of Turin, which played at Crotone’s 16,000-capacity stadium on Wednesday.

The game was a sellout, and fans had to become creative to figure out a way to see the match … and many eyes turned to the big hospital next to the stadium, from where tightwads previously had seen matches while posing as visitors to the hospital.

This time? A more ingenious plan was devised.

According to The Washington Post, citing Italian news media, extra security was provided around the hospital to keep out soccer fans/visitors, but one man apparently took the caper to the next level — by faking an emergency illness to get inside the Ospedale San Giovanni di Deo.

Got to give the fake-sick guy some credit.

It set me to thinking about what sort of fake illness would be handiest for getting a window overlooking the stadium. (Getting stuck in the emergency room presumably would not offer a view of Crotone and Juventus, which won the match 2-0.)

He probably should have checked to see what sorts of rooms were available at higher levels.

As for what sort of illness he might come up with, I’m thinking a heart attack or stroke would be easiest to fake, at least past the emergency room. Make up some symptoms, or perhaps have a double espresso to make the pulse race. Maybe he suggested he had great pain in his lower stomach — site of the appendix.

At any rate, the scheme failed, we are told. Fake-sick guy, turned away.

The story reminds me of a vaguely similar soccer story from 2015, when a co-worker checked his wife into the maternity hospital that occupies a chunk of one of the multi-story buildings located at the southeastern corner of Al Jazira Club’s Mohammed bin Zayed Stadium.

The co-worker found himself there on a night when the UAE national soccer team was playing host to Malaysia in a 2018 World Cup qualifier.

While his wife was confined to a bed, not quite ready to deliver, our guy watched the UAE’s record, 10-0 victory. Almost as if he had planned it.

The Abu Dhabi stadium in question is in the photo at the top of the entry, and our co-worker was in a room in the tower to the right of the photo … with a great vantage point. First, of the match. Second, of the birth of his daughter a day later.

What some guys will do to see a match without having to mess with crowds.