One of the vanities of expatriates in the Electronic Age … is that we’re sure we know what’s going on back home. At least in the subjects we care about.

Hey, we have wifi in the apartment! We know what’s going on!

Sometimes, that isn’t quite true.

Take, for example, Major League Baseball.

We start from the perspective of my assuming I know about the major moves during the offseason that I just experienced from the other side of the world.

I look at espn.com every day. I saw the trades and the signings. I read about them. Sure. I’m up to date.

Then I began preparing for the annual fantasy draft for the 29-year-old league I play in. And I am finding out just how much I do not know.

To wit:

–Garret Anderson plays for the Dodgers? I’m not sure who this sounds worse for: GA, or the Dogs. When did that happen, anyway?

–Vincente Padilla not only still plays for the Dodgers, despite being involved in a shooting or something in the offseason (yeah, there’s a guy you want on your team), he will pitch on Opening Day. Really.

–Then there are the major injuries. Such as Joe Nathan, a sure thing for 45 saves every year, having his arm fall off in the past week. (Oh, I do so hope I remember that, come draft day.) Kerry Wood with a back injury that may have him out for a month or two.  Carlos Beltran not even vaguely ready to play till, like, May.  Jose Reyes maybe OK, but maybe not.

Do tell!

–And just mounds of little things. Mark Teahen is with the White Sox now? Gordon Beckham is going to play second? Miggy Tejada is shifting to third? And so is Jhonny Peralta? Joba Chamberlain, back in the bullpen; Phil Hughes in the Yankees rotation. Adrian Beltre the third baseman for the Red Sox? And on and on and on.

–Milton Bradley is the Kanye West of baseball. Oh, this happened yesterday, so I actually am up to speed on that one. He is also the Ron Artest of baseball, Milton said. I think he actually is the self-destructive wacko of baseball.

Anyway, trying to compile the information needed to draft 27 players next week … has left me petrified about how much I do not know about the state of MLB, spring 2010. I fear that I will make a howler of a mistake (or four) during the draft.  I will be mocked. Derided.

I have realized, again, that being out of an environment and away from total immersion in that society’s culture … you miss a lot. Even when you are trying not to.

I imagine that during the draft, next week, I may be asked if we actually do get the internet.