To put a positive spin on this, I went more than 21 months in the UAE without getting a moving violation in an automobile.

To be a bit more candid about it … I hadn’t been behind the wheel of a car more than 30, 35 days since we got here, and I already have a ticket.

So there’s that.

Anyway, I apparently was nailed by some radar machine between Abu Dhabi and Al Ain.

How did that happen?

Start with this: Between the capital of this emirate, Abu Dhabi, and the Second City, which is Al Ain …  is 100 miles of highway, three lanes per side, and no one and nothing much around. It cuts through desert.

Everyone blows through there. Imagine I-15 before half of California drove to Las Vegas every weekend, and you’ve got it.  Just you and a couple of other cars, and the random guy in some monster SUV who blows by at 120 mph.

Desert. Empty road. No obstacles. Kick out the jambs.

A weird aspect of motor law here is … that the freeways are marked as 120 kph maximum for passenger cars. That’s about 75 mph. You see the “120 limit” signs regularly.  But if you drive a bit further, you see that the real limit is 140 kpg for cars, or about 87 mph.

So you do it. Nothing to do or see between Abu Dhabi and Al Ain (think Barstow and, say, Primm, Nevada), so you floor it.

They have signs posted indicating that they are tracking you via radar, but if that is the case, why is everyone blowing through as if repercussions are a rumor?

Another strange part of this … taxis have a built-in system so that when they get over 120 kph, a woman’s voice announces “you are crossing the speed limit! Please slow down!”

On rental cars, if you cross 120 kph, a bell begins to ring somewhere inside your door. Bing … bing … bing … It’s really quite annoying, and about all you can do is turn up the radio because the actual legal limit is 140 kph, remember.

So. On the way to the UAE’s soccer match with India, in Al Alin, and I want to get there now … I’m accomplishing nothing behind the wheel of a rental car aside from listening to an FM station I hate, but have turned up to mask the bing bing binging of Big Brother and the rigged up rental cars.

I don’t think the main road is where the trouble occurred. I’m pretty sure that was just inside the city limits of Al Ain, when the limit drops to 100 kph, then 80.

You know how it’s been when you’ve been driving 85-90 mph for an hour, and then you suddenly hit a patch that looks the same but where the speed limit is randomly downgraded? Yeah. Like that.

I was several miles from the core of Al Ain, but the speed limit had been knocked down. Apparently. I vaguely remember a pole on the right side of the road that appeared to be flashing numbers at cars passing by, and you know how California has some of those “this is how fast you’re going” things as a warning? Maybe it was just a point of information. Or so I thought.

Here, apparently, they get photos of your license plate, or something, and if you are over the speed limit you first saw posted about 50 yards back, you’re giving the government money.

When I turned in my tiny little Nissan the next day, I paid the 144 dirhams (about $40) for a one-day rental, and I was done. Or so I thought.

About a half-hour later, a charge for Dh330 (about $90) suddenly showed on my credit card.

The speed trap!

They don’t even issue you tickets here. The government just charges your credit card, and that’s that. It’s over.

Which ticks me off. That means I paid $90 for the privilege of seeing the UAE-India football game I was covering for my job. Caught by a system I didn’t even understand until it was too late.

Sure puts a damper on the idea of driving. Or renting a car or leasing one.  The thing about speeding is, it can be expensive if you don’t fully understand the system you’re in. I don’t, And it’s costing me.