How did this happen? How did I become the apologist for idiot athletes and their felonious activities?

First, Michael Vick.

Now,  Plaxico Burress.

Burress, one of the New York Giants’ heroes in Super Bowl 42, agreed to a plea bargain today that calls for him to spend two years in prison for … accidentally shooting himself.

Burress was indicted on two counts of criminal possession of a weapon and one count of reckless endangerment. He plead out on one count of “attempted criminal possession of a weapon.”

And for that he got two years. Twenty months, for time off with good behavior.

Doesn’t this whole story strike you as something that would have been laughed out of court a few decades ago? I mean, the guy shot himself.  What an idiot.  Hold the guy up to public scorn and mockery (plus, he’s got the bullet scar in his thigh), let Jay Leno make a few jokes about him … and call the next case.

What Burress should have been charged with was criminal stupidity, with the punishment being having his conviction, for felonious stupidity, broadcast on the nightly news … and the rest of the league busting his chops for blundering into the whole thing.

Because as dangerous as his lugging a gun into a Manhattan nightclub might have been … Burress shot himself.  Seems like he began paying his debt to society when the bullet from his own gun entered his own leg.

His lawyer suggested Burress is going to prison because he’s famous. If he was just a regular, uh, Plaxico … the whole event might not have been noted. (Though he did go to a hospital which, in theory, is supposed to report all gunshot wounds, even self-inflicted gunshot wounds from dopey, pistol-fumbling wide receivers.) And I have to agree with the lawyer on that.

So, now, Burress is out two seasons, same as Michael Vick. And maybe he can get back in the game, like Vick is about to do.  And maybe not. Plax will be 33 by the time the 2011 season rolls around, and if Roger Goodell is still commissioner he probably will apply the Vick Standard to him and add another six weeks of suspension …

Burress, even more than Vick, was just a moron. With Vick, there was a conspiracy to cover up a dogfighing ring and the cold-blooded killing of some of those dogs. There was some thought behind it.

Yes, yes, yes, someone else could have gotten hit by the bullet that ended up in Burress’ thigh … and we know New York City has strict gun laws … but Burress had a history of having a permit for a concealed weapon (albeit in Florida, and it had expired), so he had legally carried a gun around, for a while … as bad an idea as that generally is.

It’s just … well, two years seems pretty strong. We go back to Donte’ Stallworth, the Cleveland receiver, who was driving under the influence when he ran over a man and killed him … and got three months in the joint. Stallworth has been suspended indefinitely by the NFL, but if he’s served the 30 days deemed appropriate by the court … why can’t he come back and play?

Again, where is the sense of proportionality? Or is just about making sure we all (and New Yorkers, especially) take note of what can happen to you if you go “heavy” into a New York club (using a “Sopranos” term there). You can spend two years (or 20 months, anyway) in the stir.

We might be able to go along with this if we felt as if it did, in fact, serve as a lesson to NFL players, or other pro athletes. “Carry a gun into a club, bad idea.”

But these are young guys, inured to violence, idolized, with outsized opinions of themselves and a life of having the rules not apply to them. So the other guys who are carrying guns … and you know they are out there … well, they’re probably going to keep on doing it.

Guess they just have to hope the gun doesn’t slip down a guy’s pants and go off. Because even if its hits you, and no one else, you’re in a lot of trouble.