As I write this, many of the people I know back in the States are watching the Lakers play the Celtics. In Boston. If I were on that side of the Atlantic, I would be watching too. I grew up watching that rivalry, and suffering through it. Jerry West, Chick Hearn and I … well, the 1960s was a rough decade.

But over here, where it’s already tomorrow?

We’re all about the Egyptian national soccer team. Can we have a shout out for the Pharaohs?!?

Oh, yeah, we’ve got a collective shout out going on in Abu Dhabi right this minute.

Over the past month, one of the great semi-unknown events in global sports was conducted.

The Cup of African Nations. A soccer tournament. The most colorful, random, scary (actually, three members of the Togo delegation were shot to death by terrorists), fun,  exhilarating,  amateurish international soccer tournament in the world.

It included five nations headed for the World Cup — Algeria, Cameroon, Ghana, Ivory Coast, Nigeria … but none of them won it.

Egypt did. And Egypt is now going … nowhere.

OK,  Egypt is going home, to a heroes’ welcome — until Egyptian fans remember that their team didn’t qualify for the World Cup, losing a one-match playoff to Algeria (the infamous Match of Hate, last November) that kept them from the Big Event.  Again. Just like every other qualifying cycle since 1990.

But the Cup of African Nations … Egypt owns the continent, fellas. This was the Pharaohs’ third successive victory in the every-second-year tournament, and seventh out of the 27 contested.

And why do we care, here in the United Arab Emirates?

Because almost all of us are expats, and several hundred thousand of us expats are … Egyptians!

And about the only thing Egyptians agree on is how much they love their soccer team. Which continues to dominate Africa in soccer — except when it comes to the World Cup.

Particularly passionate Egyptian soccer fans like to gather around shisha cafes and in other public places, and watch Egypt play, on local TV — and then go crazy (well, as crazy as anyone gets, around here) if Egypt wins.

That manifests itself with slow parades down major streets of cars honking horns. And inside the cars are young men hanging out of windows waving Egyptian flags. They also like to spray that Halloween sort of foam … and ride motorcycles really fast … and when they’re out of control they take over intersections and block traffic — until the cops show up and wag some fingers and everyone disperses.

But they keep honking horns!

I’m down in the ‘burbs now, and I can’t hear any horns honking, not at 2:28 in the morning. But I bet I still could if I were living downtown.

So, you’ve got the Lakers-Celtics. We’ve got Egypt over Ghana. You don’t know one guy who plays for Egypt. And nobody in the UAE knows anyone who plays for the Lakers. OK, maybe aside from Kobe Bryant.

We had people in the streets after Egypt won.

Any of you plan to clog the Harbor Freeway if the Lakers win?

Didn’t think so.