I have never worn a ring. I rarely look at them on the fingers of other people.

Occasionally I am asked, “what did you think of that ring?” someone is wearing out in public, and people are sometimes annoyed I was looking at something other than the ring, and have nothing to contribute to the discussion.

So it must be one enormous, super-blingy, over-the-top ring, the very essence of overkill … for me to notice it.

For example: The championship rings handed out to Los Angeles Dodgers players yesterday, before their first game at home since winning the World Series last fall.

The rings the club settled on look like they ought to be in the Tower of London, under guard by red-clad Beefeaters.

Have a look, up above.

Each player from the 2020 team gets a ring, as do a number of front-office folks and lots of on-field staff. From manager Dave Roberts on down. Not saying the guy hawking Carnation Frozen Malts gets a ring, but just about everyone else does.

The Dodgers appear to have pulled out the stops in commemorating their first championship in 32 years.

They came up with a ring that is potentially harmful to anyone who stares at it too long — it might catch the sun, or a light bulb, and burn a retina. Yes, it’s that sparkly.

Here is a modest and brief (I jest) description of the rings the Dodgers bought for themselves, direct from the front office of the Jostens company, which specializes in this sort of thing. Note the number and weight of all the … stuff.

“The ring top features the instantly recognizable LA logo crafted from 17 custom-cut genuine sapphires and set atop a brilliant baseball diamond. Within the base paths are 16 dazzling pave-set diamonds and accenting [first base, second base, third and home plate] are individual princess-cut diamonds.

“Filling the interior of the baseball diamond are an additional 29 diamonds, symbolic of the number of home runs hit by the Dodgers in the Arlington, Texas, postseason bubble.

“Another 16 custom-cut sapphires and a halo of 44 diamonds surround the logo and baseball diamond. Adorning the top and bottom of the ring top is the Dodgers well-deserved title, World Champions. 

“Cascading down the sides of the ring top are 96 stunning diamonds. Enhancing the top and bottom edges of the ring top are six princess-cut diamonds set in pennants, honoring the Dodgers rich championship history and their six previous World Series titles. Combined on both edges are 12 princess-cut sapphires, representative of the 12 home runs hit by the Dodgers in the 2020 World Series.

“The left side of the ring features the recipient’s name above their uniform number set in diamonds. In the center is a red and blue ceramic Dodger logo, which is joined by the Major League Baseball logo in the upper right corner.

“A brilliant yellow-gold Commissioner’s Trophy — accented with a single diamond — highlights the right side of the ring. The championship year date, 2020, is set with 36 diamonds and underlined by a total of eight round sapphires, symbolic of the eight consecutive NL West division titles won by the Dodgers from 2013-20.

“In homage to the club’s Southern California home, the words ‘Los Angeles’ and images of palm trees adorn the top and bottom of the ring’s right side.

“The inside of the ring is personalized with the players’ signature and also features a blue enamel LA logo along with the Dodgers’ postseason series results. The Dodgers’ LA logo also adorns the exterior palm.

“The Los Angeles Dodgers 2020 World Series ring features approximately 222 round diamonds, 10 princess-cut diamonds, 45 custom-cut genuine sapphires and eight round genuine sapphires.  Combined, the rings have an astonishing carat weight of 11.0 carats — a ring truly fit for world champions.”

And that’s not all! The box the rings come in are special, too!

Back to Jostens:

“The custom Dodger-blue player ring boxes are also works of art, featuring a personalized nameplate, a rotating ring platform that spins when the box is opened and an interior light to showcase the ring.

“In addition, the ring box has an interior LCD screen that plays a four-minute Dodgers 2020 season-highlight video — complete with music and sound — each time the box is opened.”

Well, and here is the summing up.

“It is the most elaborate championship ring box ever created by Jostens.”

OK. So now we know. For me to notice a ring, it needs to look something like what the Dodgers distributed yesterday.