As I have outlined on this blog, I cannot bring myself to support the U.S. team in this World Cup, not while it is run by that Enemy of American Soccer named Jurgen Klinsmann.

If you clicked on the first link, above, you may have noted that several commenters on that entry seemed ready to tar and feather me (though it would involve a very long plane flight, and keeping tar hot for hours and hours) or at the least demand that I renounce U.S. citizenship.

As if all Americans must support every aspect of the bureaucracies around them. When, in fact, choosing when not to support a bureaucracy is the very essence of American-ness. This isn’t war (and even then …).

It’s soccer, and the U.S. Soccer Federation has made a dreadful mistake by hiring a coach who hates U.S. soccer. Who couldn’t coexist with Landon Donovan, chillest dude in the game.

So. I am a free agent in the business of applying my teeny bit of cosmic energy behind the efforts of some other team.

And I already know who it is.

I started by mentally reviewing the other 31 teams.

I don’t want to back a favorite. That’s dull. So long, Brazil, Argentina, Spain, Germany and Italy, at the least.

Then I went across the continents, starting with where I am at the moment: Asia.

Japan has a nice work rate, and rising skill, and Keisuke Honda is fun in midfield, but no. Australia is USA Lite, with lots of running and trying hard and team unity (well, that’s how the Americans used to be) … but they’re just not very good. And they may care about soccer even less than do Yanks. Also, they’re bad.

South Korea? No, thanks.

Iran? Ha!

Move over to Africa. Algeria seems to get a lot out of a little, but their negative tactics are offputting.

Cameroon, Ghana, Ivory Coast, Nigeria … given how many of their guys play in Europe, they ought to be better, but they often have deeply corrupt national associations who like to cheat players. (Witness Cameroon’s “strike” for higher wages, before getting on the plane to Brazil; not that the association will ever actually pay them.)

Up to Europe. If only Iceland had made it! That would be fun.

England, maybe? If I hadn’t watched English Premier League soccer so much I might like them a little better and, too, I’m in a room with a bunch of England honks, and that only makes me look forward to England’s ouster via shootout.

Belgium? France? Absolument pas. Croatia? Can’t root for checkerboard uniforms. Bosnia. Don’t know anything about them other then Edin Dzeko, and he plays for Manchester City, which I don’t like. So Bosnia is out. Switzerland? Too bland. Greece? Can’t back a team that is trying to figure out how to win a World Cup without scoring a goal.

Russia? Ha!

Netherlands? Maybe. I like the orange. I like Amsterdam. I like that their teams never seem to get along; someone is always feuding with someone else. That’s interesting.

Portugal? Maybe. I like Cristiano Ronaldo. Small country punching above their weight.

I will come back to those two.

South America? Brazil and Argentina already out. Ecuador and Colombia? No. I don’t like the altitude.

Chile and Uruguay? Hmmm. Hmmm again. I like Chile’s outsider thing. Let’s keep them in mind. Uruguay is a major player despite having a population of, like 8 million. But they also have a reputation for being the dirtiest team in the world. Luis Suarez is Just Another Guy when it comes to deportment, on that Uruguay team. Can’t overlook that; no Uruguay.

Back to Netherlands. They will be my backup team, with Chile my backup backup team. Portugal I will root for … when they play the U.S.  (And which faux American is going to mark Cristiano Ronaldo, Jurgen? Figured out that one yet?)

Back to Concacaf. Honduras and Costa Rica. The Hondurans try like hell, and are a little edgy, which I like, and the Ticos have some skill. I wish them well, as part of Concacaf solidarity.

Which leaves … Mexico.

El Tri.

After the Yanks, and the UAE, the national team I have seen play more often than any other, including twice in that nation’s capital?

Mexico.

A country I have visited many times, and once driven across, from Tijuana to Hermosillo to Culiacan to San Blas to Distrito Federal?

Mexico.

A place where they prepare my favorite ethnic cuisine? Mexico.

A country I have considered retiring to, a country that often feels like my southern California home? Mexico.

A country that cares about futbol intensely?  A team that nearly had a fatal meltdown in qualifying, and even now is not quite sure what their plan is, which is reckless and fun? Mexico.

A team whose best player (in theory) is a guy named “Little Pea” (Chicharito, or Javier Hernandez) who is having some sort of emotional crisis, which seems endearing? Mexico.

Mexico! That is my team.

From the other side of the world, Mexico feels more than a little like home. I know many of their players (Giovani dos Santos, the rough-n-tough Rafael Marquez, Guillermo Ochoa, Andres Guardado, et al), and what makes it even better is that this time they are not expected to survive the first round.

I like that. I like all of it.

Viva El Tri! At least for now.