Silly/fun story of the weekend.

The leading British grocery chain henceforth will give up making and selling curved croissants in favor of a straight croissant.

Even though croissant is French for “crescent”.

Why the change?

The man who handles purchasing of croissants for the Tesco supermarket chain cites the spreadability factor.

“The majority of shoppers find it easier to spread jam, or their preferred filling, on a straighter shape with a single sweeping motion,” he said.

“With the crescent-shaped croissants, it’s more fiddly, and most people can take up to three attempts to achieve perfect coverage, which increases the potential for accidents involving sticky fingers and tables.”

The British do like their jam, and a croissant is not a handy vehicle for the application of same. (A flaky outer shell is no help, either.)

On the rare occasions I have a croissant, I just pull them apart. They have butter enough in them to keep a palate amused.

As for the spreadability issue … I can see the sense of that. I have trouble applying jam to any surface without making a mess, one reason why I rarely eat jam or jelly.

Some British newspapers were concerned that the French would take Tesco’s move as a cultural snub. As if that ever really concerns the average Brit.

The New York Times, however, found the champion croissant maker in the Paris area and, zut alors, the decorated Frenchman makes his croissants straight, too!

Something about them fitting better on a baking tray.

“I can understand the importance of symbolism and tradition, but straight croissants are more practical to make,” said Benjamin Turquier, recently ranked the best butter-croissant maker in Paris.

So, croissants that run north and south?

Maybe the French can come up with a new name for a straight bit of baked dough? Maybe just call it the former “crescent” … a “stick”?

Oh, wait. The French word for “stick” is baguette, and an even more important product of French bakeries already has appropriated that name.