What would happen if we combined the two biggest secular American holidays?

We found out. Not really by plan.

And it was fabulous.

What we did was, while staying with some very kindly relatives in south Orange County, was discuss what we would like to eat: brisket or turkey? Perhaps because we were thinking more along the lines of “what would we prefer for dinner” rather than “it’s the Fourth of July — we have to eat Fourth of July food”.

The vote went for turkey.

So, we had a Thanksgiving dinner on the patio, in the cool outdoors, then moved inside to watch televised fireworks.

The upsides?

–Thanksgiving dinner is probably better for us, in terms of what we eat, than is traditional Fourth of July fare. Let’s see, super-lean turkey cooked in a smoker; potatoes, herbal stuffing, green-bean salad, a bit of pinot noir … versus hotdogs, hamburgers, refried beans, potato salad, potato chips and lots of beer.

–The Fourth of Thanksgiving transfers the latter holiday into the fresh air. Instead of everyone squished around a big table, risking a spillage disaster on semi-nice clothes or Mom’s special table cloth … you can kick back in the backyard and wear sandals, shorts and the red, white and blue T-shirt with the words “I Don’t Do Cardio Because These Colors Don’t Run” printed on it.

–Watching fireworks is a more inclusive activity than is watching football. The former is a Fourth of July thing we will carry with us into the Fourth of Thanksgiving, and the latter is an often non-inclusive event with too much Detroit Lions and Dallas Cowboys.

–It’s great for Americans not living in the U.S.  We don’t have to be here in November because we just had Thanksgiving dinner.

So, what you do on the Fourth of Thanksgiving, after eating? You spin the chairs around and watch the neighborhood fireworks … or you retire indoors and watch the fireworks on TV — as we did.

(Did you know Macy’s sponsors a huge show in New York? It’s, like, 30 minutes of continuous rockets’ red glare, which is way better than giant floating balloons of Snoopy characters.)

Anyway, the Fourth of Thanksgiving. The best of two holidays — turkey and fireworks — and unites them in one wonderful holiday.