Talking about weather is boring. I probably have written that exact sentence on this blog before.

Weather. Boring.

Sort of the definition of banality. As a writing device, it indicates “dull guy” … or “nothing to say.” Character walks into a scene and says, “Hot enough for ya?” … We know the speaker is meant to annoy the audience.

And weather is so hard to describe unless you’re standing next to the person who is sharing it with you. Hard to empathize … with someone else’s weather.

But weather is such a huge part of life in Abu Dhabi … I’m going to go there one more time.

Summers here are just … spectacular. Yes. Let’s go with that. Spectacular.

Let’s define “spectacular.”

The online dictionary I’ve got on an alternate screen gives the first definition as “sensational in appearance of thrilling in effect.” Almost. “Characteristic of spectacle or drama.” Well, sorta. Third definition: “a lavishly produced performance.” Nope.

Fourth definition: “outstanding: having a quality that thrusts itself into attention.”

Yep. That’s the one I want.

Summer here in Abu Dhabi certainly does have a quality that “thrusts itself into attention.”

That would be dozens and dozens of consecutive days over 100 degrees Fahrenheit. Generally, well over 100 degrees.  Check this 10-day forecast on weather.com. Actually, you could check it now or a month from now, two months from now, and it will look pretty much the same. At the moment, the next 10 days: it’s 110,  110, 110, 111, 108, 109,  110,  109, 108, 108.

It’s not as if we didn’t see this coming. When we arrived in mid-October last year, it was pretty dramatically warm … and we knew October was only the fifth- or sixth-hottest month.

And we can’t quite say the average daily highs here, on a month-to-month basis (you want the second graph on the page), are like nothing like you’ve ever known. Not if you’ve been to Death Valley in the summer. When it comes to average highs, Death Valley in the dead of summer has us beat. (The numbers you want are near the bottom of the page.)

I would suggest, however, that summer here is spectacular for several reasons that leave Death Valley behind.

1. People actually live here. Death Valley has a ranger station, a hotel … and practically no year-round residents for miles around. Visitors come in from Barstow or Las Vegas, get out of the car/bus, say, “Wow, this is seriously hot” … and leave.

The UAE, however, has about 7 million people who mostly battle through the entire summer, which really is a season about six months long. Say, starting in April and ending in November.

2. Death Valley has almost no humidity. Abu Dhabi, and most of the heavily populated areas of the country … are seriously humid because we live from 50 yards to a mile or two from the Gulf, an enormous body of water. We have water in the air all the time. Thus, Abu Dhabi Hot is like Miami Hot … except 10-15 degrees hotter.

So, our lives are amped-up versions of those anywhere on the planet that has a long, hot summer.  We skulk from one air-conditioned oasis to another. We seal up our living quarters, run the air conditioning on “stun” and rush to our cars/taxis, trying to minimize our exposure. We try to park anywhere shade might develop. We wear loose, light fabrics. We shower a lot. We don’t even like to think of what it might be like if the AC goes out.

Some characteristics of this heat:

Fogged-up glasses. You come out of an air-conditioned building, and the moisture in the heated air instantly coats the glass/plastic of your specs.  Eventually, when the glasses are warmed up enough, you will be able to see through them again.

If you purchase groceries that are capable of melting — ice cream and chocolate, in particular — you must assume that they have melted at some point in their journey from source to grocery store … and may melt again before you can get them into your home. Makes for some weird ice cream and some strange M&Ms.

The humidity and the heat can create almost breath-taking conditions. As in “respiration is a chore.” The air seems almost sludgy. It sometimes takes effort to breathe. You feel yourself working at it. And not just for asthmatics. Everyone.

Your movements become circumscribed by “cost-benefit” analyses.

To wit: I would like a can of Coke. The mini-mart that sells Coke is about 100 yards away.  Am I willing to make that walk, knowing it will make me a sweaty mess?

Or, We would like to go out for dinner.” However, if we walk to the nearest restaurant, we will be soggy by the time we get there, then will remain soggy while we eat inside the air-conditioned restaurant, will generate more sweat on the walk back and, actually, will need to shower just so we can dry off and return to air-conditioned “normalcy.” And even if we take into account taking a cab, just standing around outside waiting for a cab will be a sweaty experience … and to drive means getting into your overheated car (unless you are among the tiny minority who have garages) … sweating until the AC catches up … then sweating while you walk from wherever you were able to find a parking place into your destination.

So, conversation last night:

“Let’s go out to dinner.”

“Remember, that involves a sweaty walk, or waiting for a cab or driving and parking a long way from where we want to be.”

“Let’s order in.”

And let me make clear the whole “sweat, stay soggy” thing. It is one of the worst parts of summers here. Once you get sweaty, you probably never will quite dry out while you are in an air-conditioned work environment. That can make for some long, unpleasant shifts and perhaps some interesting funguses. So, the trick is, showing up at the office dry … so you can stay that way, and we plot endlessly about the best ways to make that happen.

OK. That’s enough. You get it. Summer is sensational here. And it seems endless. We are now in the height of it, but it won’t really tail off noticeably until October, and not markedly until November. Then we do have three almost ideal months, and a fourth that isn’t bad.

It says “July” on the calendar. We are going to try to think “December.”