When I was married, several decades ago, I remember my parents producing a lengthy list of their friends and associates who they thought ought to be invited to the ceremony and reception.
I also remember thinking, “Hey, this is for the people getting married and our friends and relatives. … and why do we have your pals from the club/church/workplace on the guest list? I don’t know those people!”
Some of us are slow on the uptake.
A major subplot at most weddings is this one: It is a formal opportunity for people in the latter half of life to get together and see former colleague and associates and maybe even high school and college buddies — and to share perhaps decades-old news and photos.
Sure, the kids are in the expensive dresses and the rented tuxedos, and they will do about 90 percent of the dancing, but the oldsters are having almost as much fun — in an oldster sort of way.
As we saw again tonight.
While in Southern California to finalize a move of furniture and other possessions, we were happy to have been invited to a wedding in Encinitas.
The bride is the daughter of a man whom we lured to Southern California to join us at the newspaper — in 1981 — and worked closely with for the next two decades.
And it soon became clear that several other former co-workers from when we were young and vital, would also be attending.
So there was this one particular party-within-the-party, at the wedding in the San Diego Botanic Garden.
It was soon clear that several of our former newspaper colleagues would be attending, and I don’t know if any particular field of endeavor generates as many hoary, half-true old stories as does a collection of journalists … but we have to be right up there near the top.
So, the catching up and the “remember whens” flowed thick and sweet, and it was a fine opportunity to see each other and revel in our survival and (seeming) grasp on our faculties.
It is long since, now, that I figured out the weddings are at least in part about the fogies invited by the parents of the bride and groom.
The photo at the top of this post includes seven people who worked together, as many as 30 years ago, in some cases, but have been pulled apart by the years.
So, yes, a joyous wedding went on around us … and sometimes we even noticed.
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