A pressure washer.

That is what men really want.

I know what you’re thinking. “Darn. And with Christmas behind us now.”

You could have gotten your father, brother, son a pressure washer.

A German company that happens to make pressure washers commissioned a marketing and research firm to get to the bottom of this — by asking men about their favorite tools.

And the key finding?

“That 75 percent of respondents reported pressure washers as the cleaning appliance of choice.”

Well, then.

We always suspected dudes loved power washers. I know I do.

I can hardly wait for flocks of hateful French birds to dive-bomb the Toyota so that I can take it to the do-it-yourself car wash in a nearby town … to power wash the hell out of that little gray vehicle.

(I only regret I do not have an oil-slicked driveway to blast back into a pristine state.)

And why do we love pressure washers? “The sheer power … is one reason for its popularity,” according to the press release. “Operating at pressures especially at 160 bar or more, according to 44 percent of respondents was deemed enjoyable.”

We are dying to turn the force of Niagara Falls on something that really needs a good washing.

Feast your eyes, guys, on the range of power washers offered by the company behind the survey. Wow.

The survey is a bit goofy. It begins with a list of “technical appliances” and their “preferred usage by men”.

Top of the rankings is “electrical drill”, with 82 percent approval, followed by “pressure washer” at 75 percent — a point ahead of “remote control”. Which boggles the mind.

(Men would rather get up and change the TV station manually than pass up a chance for a power washer? Yeah.)

The producer of the power washers notes that their machines are No. 1 among cleaning tools, ahead of vacuum cleaners and washing machines.

The tool guys are not happy to use?

The steam iron, bottom of the list of appliances with 33 percent “preferred usage”.

Maybe if irons had a high-power setting …