When I win a major sports competition …. you know, an Olympics medal, Wimbledon, anything with a trophy or a medal – I am not going to do what everyone else does.

I will NOT kiss my trophy or my medal for the benefit of photographers..

I will NOT pretend to bite my gold, in some weird throwback to days (like 100 years ago, or more) when you tested your metal by biting it.

That stuff is beyond hackneyed and cliched.

Photographers, because some of them are creatively bankrupt, will insist I do it.

“Kiss the Claret Jug!”

“Bite your medal!”

“Smooch the Stanley Cup!”

Nope. I won’t. It’s been done a zillion times before, and I don’t want to be one zillion and one. I might smile and hold up the thing, but photogs are going to have to live without their trite little conventions.