FIFA pulled off the World Cup draw tonight, and as television goes, it may be as lame, painfully awkward and relentlessly unfunny as any programming you can imagine. Charlize Theron babbling, a guy with a heavy French accent doing most of the talking, and a half-dozen celebrities and quasi-celebrities (David Beckham, a South African rugby great, etc.) pulling teeny soccer balls out of bowls.

But the draw itself? and it went about as well as it possibly could for the two North American powers, the United States and Mexico.

Especially considering that the two of them were in the same “pot” with the Asian teams and New Zealand — meaning they couldn’t get any of them in group play.

The U.S. is in Group C with England, Algeria and Slovenia.

Mexico is in Group A with South Africa, Uruguay and France.

Both the U.S. and Mexico absolutely could advance to the knockout round. Absolutely. And we would not be nearly as optimistic had they been placed in several other groups. Like, five of the other six.

Here are all eight groups and our instant picks for how they will finish:

Group A: South Africa, Mexico, Uruguay, France. Finish: Mexico, France, South Africa, Uruguay.

Group B: Argentina, Nigeria, South Korea, Greece. Finish: Greece, Nigeria, Argentina, South Korea.

Group C: England, United States, Algeria, Slovenia. Finish: England, U.S., Algeria, Slovenia.

Group D: Germany, Australia, Serbia, Ghana. Finish: Germany, Serbia, Ghana, Australia.

Group E: Netherlands, Denmark, Japan, Cameroon. Finish: Netherlands, Cameroon, Denmark, Japan.

Group F: Italy,  Paraguay, New Zealand, Slovakia. Finish: Italy, Paraguay, Slovakia, New Zealand.

Group G: Brazil, North Korea, Cote d’Ivoire, Portugal. Finish: Brazil, Cote d’Ivoire,  Portugal, North Korea.

Group H: Spain, Switzerland, Honduras, Chile. Finish: Spain, Chile, Switzerland, Honduras.

Now, back to the Yanks and Mexico.

The U.S. has not been playing well. Two key players (Charlie Davies, Oguchi Onyewu) are seriously hurt and Davies won’t play in South Africa and Gooch may not.

There are issues on the attacking end, with Jozy Altidore regressing, the lack of anyone dangerous to pair him with (and no, we don’t consider Brian Ching or Conor Casey “dangerous”) and a central midfield (Michael Bradley, Ricardo Clark, maybe Maurice Edu or Jermaine Jones, etc.) with little scoring punch. Landon Donovan and Clint Dempsey are going to have to come forward from the wings to apply any pressure.

And the defensive end is rather a mess, with Onyewu recovering from major knee surgery, Carlos Bocanegra looking shaky, Jay DeMerit with eye problems and issues on both wings, unless you’re OK with Jonathan Spector on the right and aren’t scared to death by Jonathan Bornstein, et al, on the left.

But Tim Howard is pretty good, in goal.

I was watching CNN International, and Landon Donovan did a right-after-the-draw interview, and he seemed to be almost grinning … in anticipation or relief. Hard to tell. He said the right things, but he looked like a guy who was thinking “we can make the second round!”

Anyway.

England almost certainly is too good for the Yanks in Game 1, in Rustenburg, though the erstwhile Masters of the Game have been underachieving in The Big Event for decades and are sitting atop an enormous bubble of public anticipation after rolling through a weak qualifying group. Then comes the key match, Game 2, vs. little Slovenia. The Slovenes are mentally tough and well-organized, and eliminated Russia in the playoffs. But there is minimal raw talent there, and if the U.S. hasn’t lost heavily against England, Slovenia is beatable (and certainly a preferable opponent to Russia). Beatable, too, is Algeria, which presumably will be playing for nothing after matches with Slovenia and England. It would be good if the Algerians are out, because the home-continent thing might make Algeria a tough Game 3, if they still have a chance.

As for Mexico … they are in Group Charmin because it is the softest out there. South Africa may be the weakest side in the entire World Cup (OK, New Zealand is, then South Africa), and was seeded only because it is the host. Of course.

Mexico and South Africa open the tournament, and if Mexico can ride out the hometown energy that will be pushing the Bafana Bafana … el tri should get a quick three points. Uruguay had trouble with Costa Rica, so Mexico can beat Uruguay, and France has been so erratic and brings tons of bad karma with it (Ireland, hand ball, remember?), and Mexico could win that match, as well. Three winnable matches. Let’s say they win two … and six points puts you into the second round. Seven wins the group.

Let’s go on and get ahead of ourselves. If the Yanks and Mexico get out of the first round, the way the groups are laid out, they cannot get Spain, Brazil, the Netherlands or Italy before the semifinals.

Read that again. Get out of group play, and the Yanks and Mexico can’t play the four highest-ranked teams in the world (1. Spain, 2. Brazil, 3. Netherlands, 4. Italy) before the semis. Throw in No.  5 Portugal, too if you want. Can’t play Cristiano Ronaldo until the semis, either.

This World Cup presents a tremendous opportunity for the U.S. and its arch-rival, Mexico. Especially the latter, which could win its group and get punchless Greece or erratic Nigeria in the Round of 16. The U.S., as a No. 2 out of Group C, would get Germany, and that is a problem, but still, getting to the second round still qualifies as success for the U.S. …

This absolutely could have turned out worse, much worse for the Yanks. As it did in 1990, 1998 (Germany and Yugoslavia) and 2006 (Italy and the Czechs), when any sober analyst knew from the moment the draw was finished that the U.S. has no chance — none — of advancing.

The Yanks have a serious shot at the second round this time. Even if they might not be quite as good as they were in 2002. And Mexico really should make the second round. Anything less is a major disappointment.

Now … we will go over to the World Cup blog … and do more about all eight groups. At countdown-sa2010.blogspot.com … and you can find that up in an hour or so after this was posted.