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‘World’s Worst’ Soccer Team Advances in Asia

March 18th, 2015 · No Comments · Abu Dhabi, Fifa, Football, soccer, Sports Journalism, The National, Travel, UAE, World Cup

Bhutan is a small, rarely visited country on the eastern end of the Himalayas. North of India, south of Tibet, middle of nowhere.

And it probably is neither unkind nor unfair to suggest that a couple of weeks ago, Bhutan was best known, globally, for being the country ranked 209th — and last — in the current (March 2015) Fifa world rankings.

That is about to change, however. The “world’s worst” team just defeated Sri Lanka twice, and 3-1 by aggregate, sending Bhutan through to the second round of Asian Football Confederation qualifying for the 2018 World Cup and setting off celebrations in Bhutan.

This had two effects on The National sports department, here in Abu Dhabi — lots of speculation about how Bhutan might rocket up the rankings to, like, 170th or so; and shouts of “Bhutan roadtrip!” from several members of the staff.

To be sure, Bhutan stands a one-in-eight chance of being placed in the game group as the UAE for the second round of World Cup qualifying, which will be determined by draw on April 14.

And if Bhutan is drawn with the UAE, the Emiratis would play an away match in Bhutan sometime between this coming June and March of 2016.

The Emiratis probably would not mind giving Bhutan a miss, in part because everyone in the group should beat Bhutan twice, making their results fairly irrelevant, and because it would entail a trip to Bhutan, which is never easy.

Bhutan has only one airport and it is located at more than 7,000 feet, with 18,000-foot mountains around it, and it’s not an easy place to land a plane.

And for our would-be roadtrippers … Bhutan may seem like the last Shangri-La, in many respects — remote, peaceful, lost in time — but it also is a fairly strange place, as can be discerned by reading the wiki entry.

All foreigners, aside from Indians, are allowed to enter the country only by plane. At the one airport that is open only during daylight hours.

All foreigners must be part of a tour group and are expected to pay $250 for every day they stay in the country — though that mostly covers lodging and meals.

It is a country with a literacy rate of less than 60 percent, a place where television was not introduced until 1999, making it the last polity on the planet to allow TV.

It is a constitutional monarchy that has been a bit rough on its citizens of Tibetan background, tens of thousands of whom now live as refugees in Tibet, after leaving Bhutan. In part because of local laws mandating that all citizens wear the national — not Nepali — dress.

But, for the moment, Bhutan’s unexpected victory is a fun sports story. The stands were packed in the capital of Thimpu, where The Wave apparently was introduced, to go along with the banging drums and clanging cymbals.

Bhutan had won exactly three matches in 40 years, which is awful, considering that Asia has a dozen truly wretched sides. They had lost 20-0 to Kuwait in 2000.

Before beating Sri Lanka twice (and how embarrassed is Sri Lanka? Lots, if they give any mind to a sport that isn’t cricket), they were best known for a match played in 2002 on the same day Brazil and Germany met in the World Cup final — a game known as The Other Final, which came about because a Dutch maker of documentaries had the idea of pitting Fifa’s two worst sides — Bhutan and the Caribbean island nation of Montserrat, which has since vaulted to No. 172.

Bhutan won 4-0, their biggest day in soccer, until yesterday’s 2-1 victory.

Their only professional player scored both goals, presumably making him the nation’s sports hero, though the national sport is archery.

So, Bhutan roadtrip?

We will see.

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